the first step to better relationships? understanding yourself.

Strong, fulfilling relationships don’t just happen; they reflect the effort you put into understanding yourself and how you show up. Many of us focus on changing others or finding the “right partner,” but the foundation of a lasting connection is knowing who you are, what you value, and how you want to interact with the world. Without this self-awareness, patterns of frustration, misunderstanding, or emotional distance can quietly take hold.

Knowing who you are and noticing when your actions don’t align with your values is essential. Where you spend your time, energy, and attention reflects what matters most. Protecting those values with clear boundaries sets the stage for happier, more fulfilling connections. Listening closely to friends and family can also reveal patterns you might miss on your own. If several people notice the same thing, there’s usually truth in it.

Flourishing independently is equally important. You don’t need a partner to feel complete. Building confidence through small, achievable goals, like journaling, meditation, movement, or reflection, creates momentum and strengthens your sense of self. Surround yourself with people who lift you, embrace authenticity, and lean into what makes you extraordinary rather than chasing what others expect.

Every small effort compounds over time. Active listening, practicing empathy, and cultivating self-awareness may feel minor, but they lead to stronger connections, deeper understanding, and lasting benefits. Relationships thrive when you show up fully and intentionally.

By understanding and valuing yourself, protecting your principles, and showing up authentically, you can create deeper, more fulfilling connections with the people around you and with yourself.

Watch Paul Brunson explain these insights in his conversation with Steven Bartlett on Diary of a CEO: